Lost Boys
by Normryl
Summary: Face and Murdock talk.


Title: Lost Boys

Author: Therm

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Face and Murdock talk.

Warnings: Set during the very end of Season Five, maybe just after the show ended. Possible spoilers for 'Without Reservations' and 'Family Reunion'.

Notes: This gets a tiny bit slushy, in a manly way.

"It doesn't matter where their going or wherever they've been,

'Cause they've got one thing in common it's true.

They'll never let a night like tonight go to waste,

And let me tell you something neither will you.

Neither will you."

-Lost Boys and Golden Girls

"Hey, I'm here to relieve you. Go get some rest."

Murdock looked up at Face who was speaking to him as he approached.

Murdock looked at his watch. "That time already?"

"Anything to report?" Face asked, coming up next to the pilot and sitting on the ground near him.

"Nope. All quiet."

"Good. Hope it stays that way."

Face said nothing for a while, expecting Murdock to wander back to his room and get some sleep. When it didn't happen after a few minutes, he turned and spoke to him.

"Everything okay?"

Murdock looked at Face. "Just wanna stay out here a little longer." He gave no explanation as to why he wanted to stay here, he just did.

Face turned his attention back to watching out for trouble.

He was lost in his own thoughts when Murdock brought him back to full attention.

"You think these guys'll show up tonight?" Referring to Anderson and his men.

"Don't think so. They never do when we're waiting for it." Face said. He didn't look at Murdock.

"Yeah." Murdock replied. He didn't look at Face.

Face stole a sideways glance at Murdock but turned away before he spoke again. "Sure you're okay?"

Murdock looked down at something "I'm fine."

"Aren't you tired?" Face asked, knowing that Murdock hadn't slept at all for at least a day and a half.

"Won't sleep." Murdock said.

Face actually looked at Murdock. "Why not?"

"Stuff I'm thinking about."

"Like what?"

"Just stuff."

"Come on, tell me?" Face asked. Murdock usually told his problems to Face with a little persuasion.

"Ah... it's nothing I can't handle." Murdock said dismissively.

Face kept his eyes on Murdock, but realised the pilot wouldn't say anything now. "Well, I guess the company will do me good. I always get a little bored out here alone."

"Yeah." Murdock said. He shivered a little. Face noticed. He thought about moving across a little so he was closer to Murdock, keeping them both warm, but he didn't move.

"Ever think about bailing?" Face asked.

"Bailing?" Murdock repeated.

"Yeah well, you know, on us."

"Course not."

"How comes I always do?"

Murdock half smiled. "'Cause you can't."

"Maybe. Maybe if I were in your shoes I'd have made my excuses and gone."

Murdock plucked a blade of grass from the ground and played with it absently. The moonlight was bright enough to display the road a little way ahead of them, keeping them aware of any movements. Movements that never happened. "I think you under-estimate yourself sometimes."

"We both know that's not true." Face paused for a moment, looking in the distance as though he could see more than the dim black of the night that far away. "I can't help thinking that if I had your opportunities, I'd have taken them."

Murdock frowned a little, looked sideways at Face. "You think I should have left when I had the chance?"

"No, not you. You'd never leave us, Murdock. That's something I'd do."

"No it's not." Murdock stated. He'd never really left Murdock, he was already free. It was Hannibal and B.A that would suffer more than he would.

"Come on, I walked away from you guys a few months ago. Your memory's not that bad." Face said, looking at Murdock, who wouldn't meet his eye. He'd said something wrong.

Maybe the fact he'd reminded Murdock of the fact he'd left them or maybe the unfair reference to Murdock's memory loss. He felt that guilty feeling washing through him. Wanted to apologise but knew he wouldn't.

"Would you go now?" Murdock asked, discarding the shredded grass from his fingers.

"What?"

"If you could just disappear. You know, I head back to the Motel and you could just... vanish. Would you do it?"

Face looked at Murdock, but the pilot didn't look at him. Face had never thought about it seriously. Sure, he'd left the guys a few times before, but never seriously, it had never felt permanent. Face just liked the idea of being in Murdock's position, still able to have a normal life and helping them out whenever they needed it.

"No. I couldn't do that to you guys."

"Face, are we alright?" Murdock asked suddenly.

"Sure we are."

"I just... ever since the thing with Bancroft, nothing feels the same with us. I dunno, maybe it's been longer."

"We'll always be alright."

"Even when I... screw things up you've waited a life time for."

Face could see that this was what was troubling Murdock tonight, probably had been for a long time now. He should have picked up it sooner. Made sure Murdock didn't feel guilty about it. "You did what you had to do. You did the honourable thing and kept your promise, that's why I love ya."

Murdock looked down to the ground. "I almost killed you, too."

Face wanted to look Murdock in the eye right then and tell him how stupid he was for thinking that. There was no way Murdock would ever have risked his or Frankie's life that night if he'd known what was really happening. Face went to tell Murdock all these things that ran through his head, but stopped himself short.

"Murdock, I'm sorry."

Murdock looked up at Face, confusion as evident as the tears he was trying to hold in.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. Sorry that I haven't been the friend I should have been these last few months. We should never have got to this point. I should have made sure you didn't have these doubts and guilty feelings."

"It's not your fault, it's mine." Murdock added hastily.

"Well, let's not get into a fight about whose fault it is, huh? Maybe, er, I should be more sensitive and you could be, well, less sensitive. How's that sound?"

"Better than all that other crap." Murdock said, willing the tears to disappear from his eyes.

"Okay, so you gonna hit the sack?" Face asked.

"I guess." Murdock said. He stretched his arms wide, yawning, then slumped backward onto the grass covered slope.

"I didn't mean here." Face said, thinking how uncomfortable it would be laying on the hard ground, plus it was a little chilly.

"I know you didn't." Murdock observed as he turned on his side. He looked up at his friend, closed his eyes knowing he'd probably get to sleep here.

"Murdock." Face whispered.

"Yeah?" Murdock replied keeping his eyes closed, content.

"Go get Hannibal. Anderson's here."

Murdock's eyes shot open at that, as he looked across to where he could see the men moving in the distance.

He guessed he just wasn't destined to sleep this night.

The End.


End file.
